Hello everyone! I hope everyone is feeling the start of the Autumn weather as I have. Rugby season has started; thus, I am a very happy person. This post is going to go from one end to another so be ready for a roller coaster of a read.
First, I would like to discuss dreams. Everyone has one, whether it is to go to the moon, be an attorney, or just graduate college in general, they are all the same. Some say your dreams are what you make them, and then furthermore to how you make them a reality. I am a firm believer with enough hard work and dedication anything is possible. Cliché? Maybe. But, it's still realistic. Now, if you're dream is that you want to fly, I recommend aviation, just because that's probably the closest you are going to come to it. I bring up the point of dreams because I'm really tired of people shooting others down over them. Oh, you want to change your major? Cool. And then question you completely about it; then, they decide to respond that it sounds "promising". Better yet, you tell someone your 5 or 10 year plan, and someone's response is yeah, we will see about that. Who in the world are you to tell someone that they can't obtain their dreams? I'm sorry, but how would you like it if someone just "Lebron'd" your dream right in front of you? You start to second guess it and then you might just give up just because one idiot said you couldn't do it. I, personally, am a rebel and I am very stubborn. The second someone doubts me or tells me I can't do something, it gives me more of an incentive to try harder just to prove you wrong. What? I like being able to say that "I told you so." So in closing of this thought, stop completely shutting down other's ideas. Let people dream. If their heads are in the clouds, then show them a way to an airplane and be supportive of their decision.
Second, you're probably asking about the title. For the record, I am not supporting any kind of substance nor am I on any kind of substance. I want to talk about exes and "hauntings" if you will. Now, by hauntings I don't mean ghouls and goblins, but rather hauntings of people from your past. I have had frequent night thoughts. You know where everything is quiet and you're just laying in bed thinking about everything from that night or day or month or in my case year. Before going any further, let me just say that yes, my boyfriend Nic and I broke up, so this will make more sense as to why in the world I am bringing this topic up. I've been doing a bit of "Soul searching" if you will, and this past year or at least where I was this time last year until now has, well, sucked. I've lost two people really close to me. I let my grades fall. And I don't blame their untimely deaths for my poor choices, but they didn't help. However, looking back now they are shaping my choices without realizing it. By surrounding myself with positive influences and getting more involved, which if you recall was my goal for the year, I think I have become a better person. I stand up for myself now and what I am passionate about. In conclusion, though I didn't want to break up with Nic, it was for the best. We are/were different people. I can't say if we will ever get back together, but I know that I am happier now and more content with myself after dating him. I don't regret dating him nor do I wish him any harm or unhappiness. I'm explaining this because I've learned that people, myself included, live too much in the past. I'm not in high school anymore. I don't care what people think of me. I'm healthy, walking, talking, and in my second year of college. I still have a lot to learn, and I'm turning 20 in a few months. I'm getting older, but I am far from old. With age comes wisdom, and I hope to achieve that and until then share some light on people my age or younger. I am cutting ties with any ex I've ever had, unless I can honestly say that I am still friends with them. Why waste my time on anyone that has already wasted my time? I'm ready to move forward. I'm busy between school, sorority, rugby, and still keeping contact with my friends. I don't have time to let my past ruin anything in my future. Now do I want a relationship tomorrow or the next day, definitely not. Eventually, someone will be put in my life that I'm suppose to waste my time on and they will do the same, and that will make us both perfectly happy. Why? Because it's what we both want.
Final and Closing, I suppose by this point the objective of this post is simply put as: Happiness. Don't let anyone get in your way of what you want or your happiness. You can blame my ethics class for most of this discussion. If you love going outside and hiking, do it. If you love painting, do it. Finally, if you love someone, tell them. You don't know when it's your time to go. However, before you love anyone, make sure that you can love yourself first. If you can't sit down and ask yourself, what truly makes me happy? Stop what you're doing and change it. If you have to lie to others to make yourself sound better, not only is that pathetic, but seriously stop lying to yourself. It's never going to satisfy what you want to make you happy. Only you can make yourself happy. You may enjoy others and material things, but what happens when you no longer have these people or things? You shouldn't think it couldn't happen to you, because it could. Focus on yourself, but don't become selfish. Always treat the ones around you how you would want to be treated, you never know when they might need you the most. This week my challenge to you is to show a random act of happiness everyday. Whether it be just having a total-girl out moment in your room and dance around to your favorite 90's pop song, or it be playing with your dog for awhile. Reality doesn't have to be as harsh as you make it, it's all about perception.
Until next time, accept my challenge. Remember where you came from, and dig down for your own happiness, and if people don't like it? So what. :)
Have a wonderful evening,
Alexa
